Allow me to Explain....

So I've been really opposed to this whole blogging thing - other than the fun, interesting blogs set-up by several family and friends which chronicle their various adventures, watching the kids grow up, providing tongue-and-cheek advise on practicial topics (much like these beloved authors - http://www.etiquettegrrls.com/pages/home.html), or showing/demonstrating a fascinating hobby & providing how-to advice to us lesser apt.

But I'm not here to do any of that. Matter of fact, I'm not totally sure why I feel compelled to share my thoughts with the world. This may wind up being the internet's worse-blog-ever (save those crazy "ana" bloggers who spread the process of how to slowly kill yourself & zap ALL joy out of your life one non-meal at a time...how you don't eat sugar, carbs, meat, well let's be honest, anything, I just don't know...).

So let's just say the purpose of this blog is to share. General enough? Walking through this murking path through grief & growing up/living is proving to be a rollercoaster. There are many days when I'm getting tossed & turned, thrown upside-down, and side-ways & can no longer find my barrings (I just love that this is ALWAYS when strangers flash pictures of us & then post them for all the rollercoaster riders on-board to gawk at). But juuuuust before, & not long after, I can actually see where the ground is, and get some mental clarity.

Clarity brings with it lessons. And I happen to think that life is about lessons.

Lesson #1: LIFE = LESSONS.

Half the time I don't catch on, or I'm repeating lesson 101 for the 15th time, but nonetheless, the experience is there.

So this blog is about that clarity. I can't promise it'll always make sense (ironically), or it'll always be worth your 5 minutes of reading time, but it'll definitely be honest, and demonstrate an area of life we often shy away from.

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So, you may be wondering about the blog name. Allow me to explain.

A number of years ago I was at some Church-related-something-or-something & the question was posed, "What shines more light - a brand-new, fully-intact vase, or a vase that has broken into small pieces and been put back together?" Answer - The broken vase because the light is able to shine through allllllll the cracks and provide a broader, & more beautiful light for those around it.

I think that's a beautiful picture of how our trials & pains, the things that break us into a thousand little pieces, can be used to make us shine more brightly & more beautifully for everyone else in our lives. God, being the glue, can build us up again...piece-by-piece.

So Lesson #2: We're broken...which might make our material worth $0.00, but 1 man's trash, is many men's treasure, especially to our God.

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I'm currently sitting on the balcony of my oceanfront hotel room in Florida. (check it out - http://www.beachcomberresort.com/ and tomorrow thru Monday - http://www.atlantichotelfl.com/).

Since I've been here (I arrived yesterday evening) I've spent hours on the balcony just watching the waves crash & the clouds go by....SUCH a cliche, but cliches are cliche for a reason, right? Life has been so chaotic, so...ungrounded(?), that all I can seem to do is stare as my mind jumps from 1 thought to the next, from 1 prayer to the next.

But this is grief. It's confusing. It swirls around you & sucks you in to the point that your brain almost turns off. But...given time, the swirling subsides, & the thoughts start to bring that much-anticipated clarity.

I'll let you know when that happens....

Lesson #3 for today: You don't need drugs to make things swirl around in your brain.

God Bless.