So it's been awhile since I wrote anything on here...life has been busy, busy...and when it hasn't been busy, well, it's still somehow been busy? Plus I forgot about this blog, haha...thank you Summer for reminding me about this! (someone DOES read it!)
I have no clever words, food for thought, or advice to pass along to my dear therapy friends. But I do have some Raw-Jacquie...and most of you know what that looks like! (don't run). I just spent awhile journaling (something I haven't done near enough lately), and I feel compelled to share my heart with you.
Life has been very different over the past month than it was the month prior. Matter of fact, every week I feel significantly different, for better or worse. The past few weeks have been BETTER, much better...my social side is coming back out, I have energy again, I've been working out again (time to get this sick-Daddy weight OOOOOOFFFF), I've been exercising my brain, I'm sleeping more normally, and I just feel more peaceful.
But I've also had to adjust to this new-found normalcy because the bad days still linger...well, they're more like bad "hours" now, but either way it feels like running face first into a brick wall. I started running from these bad times and times of "dealing" because I feared that the new joy in my life would go away and I'd go back to where I've been. But fortunately, I've worked past that...and here we are.
The journal entry below isn't spectacular. It isn't muy importante. But it is real. It is what goes through my head every single day in this stage of grief/life. So I hope it teaches you something...or just shows you how badly I need prayer! LOL
(and to anyone mentioned in it, please know that this is all ME, not you or anything wrong on your part! I considered taking some of this out, but that would defeat the purpose of being REAL. So to Diana, Emily, Debbie, and God-forbid my tutor Tim should he end up reading this somehow, LOL...that'd actually be really funny, but I don't think he's much of an internet/blog/facebook addict so it should be fine - ANYWAYS, to all of you (Uh, Em, and Debs) I love you, and I thank you for being such beautiful sisters).
Oh, and to my sister-sister, I heart you and love you and thank you for coming with me to 5 gazillion shows and being the best date EVER :)
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